n-s
t
d)adj.
Holding or characterized by an unduly high opinion of oneself; vain.
This has been bubbling for awhile now and I seriously feel as if I'm about to reach boiling point. What do you think is the difference between being confident and conceited? I did a little Google search myself, and I think having confidence is believing in your self worth and abilities but at the same time realising that everyone is equal and that you are no worse nor better than anyone else out there. It is an aura that comes from within and doesn't necessarily have to be voiced out. On the other hand, to me, being conceited is someone who has crossed the 'confidence' border and feel that they are somehow better than everyone and make this known. I think there is definitely an underlying insecurity beneath this though for said person to have to brag to others about how good looking/rich/smart/etc they are...
So I have this friend, let's call them X for confidentiality reasons. When I first met X a few years ago, s/he was a completely different person - easy going, friendly, great to talk to and humble. Fast forward a couple of years and I honestly don't know what's happened, but lately X has been getting to me. It started quite subtly, a few cheeky comments about how s/he liked what s/he was wearing, how many cute girls/guys there were at the party etc. X had gotten a good (well paid as well) job in a very short time - and I'm really happy that things turned out so well for him/her.
Fast forward a couple of months and it's now a completely different. Mind you, I hadn't seen X for awhile either so perhaps this is why I noticed the change. We caught up for dinner the other week and X told me about a new project s/he was working on and how s/he had been given extra responsibility, which I thought was fantastic - it would speak volumes on the CV! However, the whole night s/he talked mainly about him/herself. I hardly got a word in. Mind you, I'm the type of person who is generally the less dominant in a conversation - I will only speak if I have anything useful to say. But some people really need to understand that the world does not revolve solely around them, and that sometimes it's actually good to listen for a change.
Also... X recently moved out and asked me over for a dinner with his/her housemates. The flat was in a good area, and the interior was inviting and homely - which I had let X know many times already - yet X kept asking me over and over again whether I liked the place, how good it was blah blah blah. To be brutally honest, though the place is nice, my room is actually bigger than X's and I'm paying way less rent than them. And I don't live in a council flat. Anyway, I didn't want to say anything because we were all having dinner together and it was really kind of them to cook for me (I cleaned up by the way!) so I wasn't alone on Valentine's Day.
The icing on the cake? A recent outing or two really made me question how much I want to hang out with X. I think I have reached my limit. One night over a weekend, we went to a club with X and X's housemate. X kept saying how everyone was checking him/her out and was giving them ratings on a scale of 0-10 on looks. Okay then? Firstly, if someone checks me out do I feel the need to tell everyone who it is? It comes across as stuck-up and vain if anything.
And more recently, there was a party we went to in the city. Neither of us knew anyone at this party - and also there were LOTS of good looking people at the party...mainly tall, modelesque types. From the previous outing, X said how much s/he would like to accessorise with a tie next time we went out. There wasn't a tie this time so I jokingly asked why s/he wasn't wearing it. I'm not sure whether s/he was joking in his/her response but it came across as really rude and arrogant. X told me to "Shut up - I like how I look thank you very much. How about saying X looks great today instead?" I didn't even mean to offend in my initial comment?! I laughed it off but inside I was angry. The whole night I could tell how insecure X really was - s/he even commented on how much of an 'ugly duckling' (not to mention short) s/he felt compared to everyone else in the room. And my housemates' friend who was visiting was also there - I introduced them and they had a brief chat. After 5 mins X comes back and said that the friend was touching his/her arm the whole time. Again, wtf? Do you always have to brag about how many people check you out, flirt with you, how good looking you are, how much weight you've lost etc? I later saw the friend doing exactly the same thing with every other person of the opposite sex at the party. I felt a bit smug when I replied "Maybe that's how shes is, it's not meant to be anything other than friendly" and X shut up after that. One thing I have learnt after this experience is that whilst someone is conceited, they are generally trying to cover up or overcompensate for something (or are usually insecure). I have always admired people who are humble and confident - I have a friend like this who lives in Chelsea, has a fantastic job earning lots of money but is so down to earth. It's just refreshing to talk to someone who inspires you and has a quiet confidence about themselves.
Conceit is one of the most annoying and obnoxious traits one can possess - and I think it's only a matter of time before I say something about it.
Rant Over!
M xo
This has been bubbling for awhile now and I seriously feel as if I'm about to reach boiling point. What do you think is the difference between being confident and conceited? I did a little Google search myself, and I think having confidence is believing in your self worth and abilities but at the same time realising that everyone is equal and that you are no worse nor better than anyone else out there. It is an aura that comes from within and doesn't necessarily have to be voiced out. On the other hand, to me, being conceited is someone who has crossed the 'confidence' border and feel that they are somehow better than everyone and make this known. I think there is definitely an underlying insecurity beneath this though for said person to have to brag to others about how good looking/rich/smart/etc they are...
So I have this friend, let's call them X for confidentiality reasons. When I first met X a few years ago, s/he was a completely different person - easy going, friendly, great to talk to and humble. Fast forward a couple of years and I honestly don't know what's happened, but lately X has been getting to me. It started quite subtly, a few cheeky comments about how s/he liked what s/he was wearing, how many cute girls/guys there were at the party etc. X had gotten a good (well paid as well) job in a very short time - and I'm really happy that things turned out so well for him/her.
Fast forward a couple of months and it's now a completely different. Mind you, I hadn't seen X for awhile either so perhaps this is why I noticed the change. We caught up for dinner the other week and X told me about a new project s/he was working on and how s/he had been given extra responsibility, which I thought was fantastic - it would speak volumes on the CV! However, the whole night s/he talked mainly about him/herself. I hardly got a word in. Mind you, I'm the type of person who is generally the less dominant in a conversation - I will only speak if I have anything useful to say. But some people really need to understand that the world does not revolve solely around them, and that sometimes it's actually good to listen for a change.
Also... X recently moved out and asked me over for a dinner with his/her housemates. The flat was in a good area, and the interior was inviting and homely - which I had let X know many times already - yet X kept asking me over and over again whether I liked the place, how good it was blah blah blah. To be brutally honest, though the place is nice, my room is actually bigger than X's and I'm paying way less rent than them. And I don't live in a council flat. Anyway, I didn't want to say anything because we were all having dinner together and it was really kind of them to cook for me (I cleaned up by the way!) so I wasn't alone on Valentine's Day.
The icing on the cake? A recent outing or two really made me question how much I want to hang out with X. I think I have reached my limit. One night over a weekend, we went to a club with X and X's housemate. X kept saying how everyone was checking him/her out and was giving them ratings on a scale of 0-10 on looks. Okay then? Firstly, if someone checks me out do I feel the need to tell everyone who it is? It comes across as stuck-up and vain if anything.
And more recently, there was a party we went to in the city. Neither of us knew anyone at this party - and also there were LOTS of good looking people at the party...mainly tall, modelesque types. From the previous outing, X said how much s/he would like to accessorise with a tie next time we went out. There wasn't a tie this time so I jokingly asked why s/he wasn't wearing it. I'm not sure whether s/he was joking in his/her response but it came across as really rude and arrogant. X told me to "Shut up - I like how I look thank you very much. How about saying X looks great today instead?" I didn't even mean to offend in my initial comment?! I laughed it off but inside I was angry. The whole night I could tell how insecure X really was - s/he even commented on how much of an 'ugly duckling' (not to mention short) s/he felt compared to everyone else in the room. And my housemates' friend who was visiting was also there - I introduced them and they had a brief chat. After 5 mins X comes back and said that the friend was touching his/her arm the whole time. Again, wtf? Do you always have to brag about how many people check you out, flirt with you, how good looking you are, how much weight you've lost etc? I later saw the friend doing exactly the same thing with every other person of the opposite sex at the party. I felt a bit smug when I replied "Maybe that's how shes is, it's not meant to be anything other than friendly" and X shut up after that. One thing I have learnt after this experience is that whilst someone is conceited, they are generally trying to cover up or overcompensate for something (or are usually insecure). I have always admired people who are humble and confident - I have a friend like this who lives in Chelsea, has a fantastic job earning lots of money but is so down to earth. It's just refreshing to talk to someone who inspires you and has a quiet confidence about themselves.
Conceit is one of the most annoying and obnoxious traits one can possess - and I think it's only a matter of time before I say something about it.
Rant Over!
M xo
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